Both still a little bleary eyed from an early morning rendezvous or two, we wish Daddy farewell for the day with hugs and kisses and then settle in, just the two of us. While I'd like to say we begin our morning routine, no two days are ever quite the same. You see, we are finding our way, on this new adventure of ours.
I wondered endlessly and struggled often to see how I would do this, if I could do this, with just the two of us. After nearly five months having someone around, family so close by, I just couldn't find the courage, to take the leap all on my own. What if she wouldn't go to sleep, what if she cried all day. What if I cried all day? How would I get the washing done? How would I ever find a moment to myself again? How would I stop myself coming undone? We'd never even been in the car, just the two of us. There was so much to learn, such anxiety to overcome, but I knew I had to, I just had to, for her.
So day by day, we revel in the sweet moments and embrace the little things. The rhythms we create, just like the sun, change course a little each day. Sometimes everything gets done, but more often than not, you'll find us here, just the two of us, in our own little world of mischievous mice, fanciful fairies and hares who wear red shoes. All the while, the washing machine is beeping, the dog is barking and the phone is ringing, but we don't mind. Our little world has high walls, a very special key and a secret word for those who wish to enter.
And in those moments, when sleep does not come easily and all the learning and growing become too much for us both, I remind myself to breath deeply and remember how lucky I am and what an honour it is to play this most important role. It is a role that has slipped through my grasp once before and one that I now fiercely fight for, embrace with all my heart, rejoice in and celebrate everyday.
And everyday I learn a little more and so does she.. And together we find our way.